Making of a Man #2

Western society offers many and often conflicting views of what being a man is all about. Historical biblical definitions are rapidly disappearing, and new generations of young men learn manhood from gurus and influencers on social media. We hear that being a man requires grit, square-jawed determination, a working knowledge of weaponry, and, preferably, rock-solid abs. Others say manliness is about getting in touch with one’s feelings, caring for the less fortunate, and being sensitive. Still others would include leadership skills, a good work ethic, physical stature, riches, or sexual prowess. All of which are interesting and partially applicable, though not all to all men. 

Biblical meditations on manhood point us to broader and more general definitions. Two men, Adma and Jesus, would emerge as the archetypes of manhood. Adam was the first man ever to live. Formed by the hands of God and taught how to live by God himself. Jesus, as the second Adam, who was God incarnate, modelling a life that not only points us back to the original wholesome state of the first Adam but to a new dignified level of godly manhood. ( I concentrate primarily on men in this article.) 

So, Jesus is the truest man who ever lived. A man today would possess several qualities of Christ that imitate Christ. A patient study and meditation on the holy scriptures would deepen our understanding. 

Imitating Christ, the modern man today will be obedient to the Heavenly Father’s will and be about the Heavenly Father’s business (Hebrews 10:9). He will show a determination to accomplish God’s will, whatever the cost (Isaiah 50:7). He will endure opposition and never lose heart (Hebrews 12:3). He will be a man of the Word, using Scripture to overcome temptation (Matthew 4:1-10). He will be a man of prayer (Mark 1:35). He will be a man of love and sacrifice (John 13:1). “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14). According to these verses, a true man is vigilant against danger, faithful to the truth, brave in the face of opposition, persistent through trials, and, above all, loving. A true man has “put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11, NLT).

Lifelong disciplined reading of the Bible and meditations would bring a man closer to God and reveal personal specifics of God’s will for his life. But we have to master the basics first before asking for special assignments. I concluded that a man has to master four disciplines of his life. If I have mastered and managed these, I can ask more fancy questions like what are my gifts, talents, passions, hobbies, wishes, desires, dreams, etc.… 

1. Be a man. 

That’s right, be a man! Not a feminine version of a man. It is not a perversion of a man as the modern culture is confused about sex and gender. The prototype of a man is Adams’s creation. He had to take care of Paradise and walk with God. Walking with God does not define God. It defines me. Men walk shoulder to shoulder, facing in the same direction. You do not talk constantly; you walk. You are in motion, not stationary. You are friends; you walk, sometimes talk and do things together. Long talks are a feminine quality. 

This means that I should take care of my “Paradise” and talk (pray) and walk (live) with God daily. To be a man is to take ownership of my life and responsibilities. Never blame someone else for things that go wrong in my life. God is not responsible for my foolish decisions. The devil is not to be charged when I give in to my sinful thoughts, laziness and addictions. It’s me! It means walking with purpose and integrity, striving to protect and cultivate my “Paradise”—the family, home, and environment entrusted to me. It also means standing firm in my convictions despite societal noise and embracing qualities like courage, discipline, and love.

2. Marry and Have Children.

Building a family is at the heart of manhood—a man wants to have his own people, to start his own nation. That is the way God created men to be chiefs of their tribes. He finds a fine woman who becomes his muse and inspiration. All he builds and gains in life is then given away to his wife and children. Men themselves need little. Men will die to protect their families and their lands. As a husband, a man loves his wife (singular!). He will never fully understand her completely but cherish, support, and grow alongside her. As a father, his role is to guide and teach his children. True fathers do not try to be friends with their children. They are fathers! An influence no other man in the universe will ever have on these children. Raising obedient, well-rounded children is not just a duty but a privilege. The goal is to raise GOOD people, as God is good. Education, skills and prowess are second on the priority list. 

3. Care, Protect, and Provide.

What is a man’s job? Simple: keep the family thriving. It’s not about lounging at home or micromanaging every detail. No, as a dad, I’m out on “crusades,” conquering the world’s evils and bringing home the spoils —whether it’s a paycheck or deer for dinner. Fatherhood’s role is part warrior, part servant, but 100% dependable.

So here’s to being the Crusader Dad, the Conqueror of Chaos, and the Champion of Family. Because at the end of the day, being a hero isn’t about the battles we fight—it’s about the people we fight for.

4 Correct the Mistakes of Your Father.

No father is perfect. Many of us carry the burden of our fathers’ flaws—whether they were absent, harsh, or set poor examples. Many sons harshly criticizing their fathers grew up to become just as they were. The task of a son is not to perpetuate those faults but to break the cycle. If there is a family curse, it stops with me. Analyze the good, the bad and the ugly that you’ve inherited, take responsibility for what you can change, and resolve to leave a better legacy for your children.

For example, my father was a principled and godly man. Even under persecution, he stood firm in his beliefs and principles and raised us with a strong sense of right and wrong. But he was also very stubborn and hard and could be uncompromising. He was so focused on living and telling the truth that the feelings of others did not matter. As much as I admire him, I chose to learn to avoid repeating specific patterns, such as insisting on holding onto leadership positions instead of promoting the next generation, being more patient and controlling the “short fuse” and anger, or giving unsolicited advice. These are lessons I’ve taken to heart as I navigate my role as a father and grandfather. I am still a work in progress. 

In Conclusion

Focusing on the basics is crucial before exploring passions, hobbies, or talents. Too often, men get caught up chasing distractions or pointing fingers instead of owning their challenges. True growth begins with responsibility. When we embrace the core responsibilities of manhood, everything else tends to fall into place.

Returning to these foundational principles in a world overwhelmed by noise and confusion helps us reclaim what it truly means to be men in our daily lives.

Please let me know what your thoughts are. I’d love to hear what you’ve learned and what you think.